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Oh gosh, it's Monday already? Honestly, yes, but really, no. It is Thursday right now, August 7, and I'm writing to you in advance because I'd rather be prepared than send an email late. I guess that's one of the first things you should know: most, if not all, of these emails will be written in advance, with dramatic effect, hoping to convey some nonsense to you, my fictitious audience of the future.
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Second, know how weird all of this is for me. It is an unfamiliar feeling, sharing my inner dialogue. Not just sharing it though, but putting it out there, expressively and with intention. You see, I have a myriad of perceived "issues" in my life, and consequentially, consequences. I'm fortunate enough to also have a myriad of perceived amazing friends, no quotes, that I get to converse with on the telephone on a haphazardly regular basis. (This means if we are close, I will call you at the most randomly convenient times, with nothing in particular to inquire or share.) In one of these vaguely described conversations, I said,
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"If I were someone's pet, I would be concerned for my well-being."
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Y'all, I have a dog. For the past 7+ years.
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Yet, for whatever reason (I am sure there are plenty, and if you're patient and stick with my bullshit long enough, you might come to your own conclusions as to what these reasons are.) I don't do the best job taking care of myself.
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This led my overthinking, philosophical mind to the conclusion that we are merely products of the things we spend our time doing. As a (at the time of writing this soon-to-be) 32-year-old lady, I am embarrassed to even look at my screen time. I know it's bad, and the data, although likely interesting, could possibly crush my fragile tough girl exterior.
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"oH, bUt JuLiA yOuR e-MaIL LiSt iS On tHe iNtErnET, tOO."
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Actually, please don't, there's much more I'd like to tell you, so just hang on a damn minute.
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Long story long, I'm tired of seeing everyone else's highlights. It's boring, performative, and cringey. I'm just tryna exist fully and unapologetically. So, rather than trying to swim in an already crowded pool with limiting confines, I've decided to create my own space to share. I crave autonomy in all aspects of my life, and I realized that the way I have been interacting with the internet is incredibly detrimental to my previously stated well-being. (or lack thereof.)
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What exactly does this look like? I. Don't. Know. I say that often, "I don't know," because, really, I don't. You don't either. No one does. Whatever happens next is the greatest mystery of all, because no matter how much you prepare, life still happens. I can't tell you exactly what this will look like, but I can tell you that I will try, for the next 52 or so weeks, to write at least weekly, in this laxadaisical tone, something interesting for you to consume. Now, you don't have to enjoy this; you can opt out at any time, but I want to encourage you to consume media differently. This encouragement comes in the form of these silly emails where I rant or rave about who knows what. I'm giving you the option to sit down and read something for no other purpose than to have read something. You might get something out of it, you might get nothing out of it; that is not my or your fault.
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Now, remember when I said I was writing this in advance? You see that little grey line above? That's my indicator to you that it's a different day, Monday, August 11th, in fact, and you will hopefully be reading this sooner than later.
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Speaking of reading this sooner than later, I should extend my gratitude towards you for the blind trust you had in signing up for this wacky newsletter, so thanks, reader <3.
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If you've read through all my nonsense, I thank you. If you enjoyed any bit of it, I thank you & encourage you to share this with someone you think might also enjoy it. At this point, there are 23 of you, and for whatever reason, that is an incredibly disproportionate number in relation to how much activity the multiple stories and grid post I made to haphazardly announce I'm doing something without having the full product available. So I guess that makes you a founding member of my email list!
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Let's recap, because since I'm writing these in a stream of consciousness style, which could be hard to follow.
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Who? thatonejulia. me. Julia. a 32-year-old tough girl that philosophizes about restaurants, teaches yoga, works with energy, is learning to make jewelry, waits tables, complains, and writes to strangers on the internet.
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What? A (hopefully mildly entertaining) weekly newsletter, Mondays at 9 am Eastern. Some will be scheduled, some might be forgotten about and consequently authored, and sent out moments before.
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Where? tHe InTeRnEt, DuH. Kidding, not really, but typing like that for dramatic effect is annoying, and I hope to find a way to convey that mocking tone by other means. In all seriousness though, there where is wherever you are while reading this.
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When? For you? Mondays at 9 am Eastern. For me? Every moment of every day, this newsletter is all-consuming.
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Why? :) BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT TO. Coolest part about life?
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You. Can. Just. Do. Things.
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I'm doing a thing, and I appreciate your participation. Stick around, unsubscribe, mock me, make your own newsletter to do it better. My mother sent me a Christmas ornament with a little wooden "FUCK" inside of it, and that might just be the last one I have to give, and it was given to me, so it's special and you cannot have it. (Please don't look deeper into the whole "her mom gave her a fuck?" part of that last sentence. Susie sends quirky gifts like Ducks that have hands that flip you off, and leaves notes about "in case you need to fuck a duck." I promise there is no weird incest or beastiality going on in my family, to my knowledge, we are just strange, from the Midwest, and honestly, congrats on still reading.)
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In conclusion, I think this introductory email has rambled on about nothing in particular and has very few profound points that make you think.
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Hello, and welcome. Thank you for being here.
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thanks for excusing the tardiness of this first email and playing along with my bit, it is indeed my first time, too :)
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