Hey... my bad. Week 43 just.. didn't happen.
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It's a new week, though, and rather than retorting excuses and getting too introspective and probably self-deprecating, I'm going to ramble.
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I'm slowly realizing that not having a purpose for these newsletters is beginning to stretch me a bit too thin. There's no structure, really, other than me trying to jot something of interest on a Sunday afternoon and then set it to send Monday morning. I have this basic template, and edit the body, fool around with the preview text, which I'm still not entirely sold on being real or not, sometimes re-read, edit, and boom, "newsletter".
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I need to assign myself a goal and shut the fuck up about it. Well, not entirely. Documenting progress is much different than wishful thinking and abstract anecdotes. There are infinite things that are entirely out of my control, and rather than languishing, I should probably take control of the things I can.
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I have a few things that I want to learn deeply about, and I'm a little overwhelmed at the undertaking, but also maybe excited about potential. I've had so many dreams, all of which I would be happy to see come true, but I've never given myself the go-ahead to pursue them. I'm the only person who can accomplish my dreams, ya know? Even if accomplishing some of them invalidates the possibility of others. These are life's choices.
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I'm going to continue rambling for the next 8 or so weeks, which will round out a full year of newsletters, minus last week, still not talking about it. I think then things will pivot a little bit. That gives me a good time bracket to sort some shit out, get some other shit together, and hopefully show up in a way that I haven't felt like I'm capable of in a while. How does that sound? Feel free to reply, I love reading them, and have been oh so tempted to start replying to them. Maybe I will, in my own cheeky way.
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I hope you're doing well. If I'm being honest, I'm not, and as much as I would like to give up and run away, it's never as satisfying as continuing to do the thing. So do the thing, it's going to suck, it will be hard, but chances are, it will be worth it.
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