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*meaning I scheduled this to send at 9 am, just like all my other emails, and I spent two hours on chat with multiple different support services, all for there to be no reason as to why it is nearly noon and you still haven't gotten the original email that did not include this asterisk information. ANYWAY..... don'tcha just love technology.
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Well, it seems aside from the one guest author I have in mind, none of you seemed too interested in authoring a newsletter, so I guess you're stuck with me. :) At least for now, it's not like the opportunity has passed, so for my ONE new subscriber (more on this later), feel free to locate my newsletter archive HERE, read week 21 (or more if you're feeling frisky) for details about authoring a newsletter. I was also too quick to say none of you seemed too interested, because I did have one person reach out (HI, LOVE YOU.), and their dilemma was not knowing what to write, so if that is the consensus, I encourage you to start writing, maybe it will shape into a newsletter, if it does, email it to me, I'll read your newsletter even if you don't want me to use it to take a week off. Insider info here- I never really know what I'm going to write about until I sit down and start "talking" to you, my adored fictitious audience. Remember, you're only fictitious while I'm writing; I am completely aware that you do all exist.
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Also, this was somewhat of a fib; I did have a few things on the docket to mention and eventually elaborate on this week. I would like to invite all of you to my walk club, that is, of course, unless you refuse to join any club that would have you, in which case you are delightfully excluded. What is walk club, might you ask? Well, currently it has 5 members, and I've been sending them each a picture from my walks every day. If you want to join, there is no membership fee or really any obligation to actually do it, so if your New Year's resolution was to join a club, here's an easy way out. Ideally, you'll attempt to go for a walk every day, perhaps some of you are already in walk club if you have a dog and are a much better dog owner than I was last year. The dog that allows me to live in her house and sleep in her bed was the main motivation for this, aside from the whole "walking is good for you" nonsense. (Yes, I know this isn't technical nonsense, but technically everything can be good or bad for you in moderation; think about it.) See, although it's her house and bed, etc (dog's mentality, am I right?), she isn't allowed to leave the house unsupervised (spoiled much?), so, in order to shoot two birds with one stone: Walk. Club.
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Hmm.. now, what was the other thing I had in mind to ramble about, maybe the 6 pounds of pasta and quinoa salads I made? Having pre-made food that I don't need to heat up or prepare further than putting into a bowl has proven to be a great means of ensuring I actually fucking eat. Yes, fucking eat, because it really shouldn't be that difficult. I have a pantry stocked as if a family of four lives here. Was 6 pounds likely excessive? Yes. Did I intend to make 6 pounds? No. Is it going to get eaten? Boy, I hope so.
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Back to the whole (more on this later)... I want to sincerely thank you all for your participation in my silly little newsletter endeavor. I really don't like the acquisition of new subscribers, although the number growing does make me smile. All this to say, I posted a story to my Instagram reminding people about my newsletter. Several hundred people saw it, it got plenty of likes (as do most selfies of not hard to look at people), yet it only got me one new subscriber. That's disheartening. All these other people are FAKE. ASS. FRIENDS. Is asking for someone's email to send them literally one a week too much to ask? Is it because I didn't offer people 10% off the purchase that they might not even make? Because I don't collect cookies and read their browser information to better sell them the ZERO ads I have in my newsletter or on my website? Because I didn't also make you consent to getting annoying, repetitive, text messages about prescriptions you haven't filled in months? It makes absolutely no sense to me where this unwillingness to support a FRIEND came from.
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I'm not going to stop these any time soon, although, believe it or not, we're a few short weeks away from our halfway point! (Don't worry, I will likely continue to write these newsletters and possibly expand my online consumable library after the one-year mark.) I think what I'm getting at here is that it costs you nothing to follow a friend's business page, sign up for a silly newsletter, join a virtual lawless walk club, but it will give them a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that you see them and want to witness their experience. I really don't want to ask anything of any of you, other than to read my nonsense, but, BUT!, if you want to, maybe you might recommend my newsletter to a friend? I don't have a discount code because I'm not trying to sell you anything, but I can give you this "<3"; it's a small token of my gratitude. Whatever I'm doing here, I've found it to be important to me, and it's a real shame to exist in a world where the things that are important to you go unrecognized. Maybe I need to dress up like Bernie and ask people, once again, to just sign up for my newsletter.
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I think that's enough of a little complain from me today, which, for reference, I'm writing this one on Sunday afternoon. I might pop back on later, if so, I'll throw one of those fancy dividers in to represent the passing of time. (I'm thinking I will come back later because this isn't a proper sign off, and if I properly sign off, then I'd have to undo that sign off, and then I'd be adjusting past writing while trying to do new writing, and well, this is all parenthetical.)
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She's baaack.. to say goodbye.
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I almost left it at that, but looking at it was sad, so I started writing this little quip to nowhere.
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